Written by Shanna Glover Wheeler
Traditionally this time of year is a time of reflection for so many people around the world. As my family and I have thought a lot about what the next year will bring, it’s looked a little bit different than it has in the past. You see, something happens when you’re told that you’ve got three to six months left to live. This is not the news I expected to hear at forty-five years old, after a three-year battle with breast cancer. It’s the kind of news that really makes you look long and hard in the mirror. It makes you contemplate your life, the choices you’ve made, and whether or not you’ve used the time you’ve had in ways that will leave a lasting impact on those you love the most.
Time is a funny thing when it’s something you’re running a little short of and it’s a masterful teacher. It’s taught me a unique perspective. Consequently, my family and I have learned a few lessons over the past few months. I’d love to share some of these with you.
“Why me?”
As I think back over the past number of years I can see how the Lord has been preparing me to come back home. Interestingly enough, I’ve seen His hand mostly in helping me prepare my children. My husband and I have ten kids. We’ve adopted eight of them and fostered another forty-two throughout our marriage. All of this has been especially challenging for them as most of my kids have already lost a parent and experienced so much trauma in their lives. Again and again I’ve asked, “Why wouldn’t God want me to be here to help them?Why me? I have more work left to do!” Daily I wrestled with these questions and the concept of needing to give my will to God.
Finding Peace
During this period I’d also been spending time at the temple. It was there that I was able to receive peace and was finally able to reconcile my will to His. The Spirit spoke to me and reminded me that I don’t stop being their mother when I’m not here on earth any longer. That fact doesn’t change regardless of which side of the veil I’m on. It was a beautiful reminder that being a wife and mother is what knits together my eternal identity. It’s who I am. Furthermore, my understanding deepened of why God made it possible for families to be eternal. It’s because He loves us! He doesn’t want us to be separated from those we love the most. I’ve felt so grateful for this perspective! I have received so much peace because of it.
Small and Simple Things
As I’ve reflected on my life, I’m grateful to have lived a life of service. Years ago, when I was serving my mission in Italy for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I learned that simple and small acts of service are often times the key to unlocking blessings for yourself and others. Things like, simply passing a ball back over to a group of kids playing soccer and having that small act of kindness open doors to talk to them about Jesus Christ and His gospel. Watching a hurt child experience peace for the first time in their lives, just because your wrapped your arms around them. Even bringing comfort to a friend by reaching out and going to lunch with them. It’s the small things we do everyday that make a difference.
Over the past while, I’ve had so many people send messages to me about times when I did something kind. To be honest, I don’t remember most of them because they seemed so inconsequential at the time. But the sum of these experiences is what has built my life, and they are the things that have brought peace as I prepare to meet God. We can become more like the Savior by choosing to spend the time we’ve been given in the service of others. In the end, that’s what will matter the most.
Miracles to Come
This experience has also taught me about the miraculous healing power of my Savior, Jesus Christ. When I first received my diagnosis three years ago, we pled for physical healing. We prayed for a miracle and for that healing to take place even after years of treatment and surgeries. While we struggled with that probability that those prayers were not to be answered the way we wanted them to be, I came across a General Conference talk from October 2021 called Is There No Balm in Gilead. The Spirit taught me that through the power of the Atonement, Jesus Christ has made it possible for healing to take place. A healing that is permanent and lasting, one that makes us whole and complete. The Savior’s healing power isn’t limited to just our bodies, but applies also to the healing of our hearts.
As my perspective shifted, I realized that a miraculous healing was actually possible. Now, as my time to meet my Savior quickly approaches, I ask for a miracle, but not for me. I ask for the healing of my loved ones hearts. Healing for my children, my sweet husband, my parents, my friends and my family. I know that He lives, and that He loves me. I know that Jesus Christ can heal our hearts and give us promised perspective, and ultimately peace. As I’ve come to accept His will in my life, this truth has been my constant, my ever-present North Star.
